I can finally announce this!!

We're pregnant!!!! And it's sticking this time!! I had to wait and wait to announce this b/c we hadn't told our parents yet, but now it's out there!! About a month ago, we got a nice dark, surprise BFP! We were shocked b/c we were NOT trying. We weren't thinking about it, we weren't talking about it, nothing. We were pretty much done with the idea after that last miscarriage. But the Friday right before Father's Day, I woke up from this crazy dream and just had a weird feeling. In my dream, I had taken a pregnancy test and it was blazing positive. Well, when I woke up, I realized, that I should just do a test for the heck of it. I had a left-over internet cheapie that I hadn't used so I used it and holy cow, a line showed up. So I immediately went out and got a FRER test, without telling Kevin, and took it and it was very positive! I was shocked!! So I took a picture of it and sent it to Kevin and asked, "How did this happen??!" When he finally checked his phone, he couldn't believe it!

So, I progressively tested every few days and got what never happened with any of the miscarriages. I got darker lines each time, so I had a great feeling!! Got my hcg tested and progesterone tested and everything was checking out just fine! So here we are....8 wks along!! Yesterday we saw the heartbeat on ultrasound and we thrilled!

TTC....

is on HOLD for awhile, just to let anyone know that might check this....this summer is the 2-year mark of this journey. Kevin and I have decided that we're not officially TTC anymore. So, that's the update. I never followed up with a specialist b/c our insurance doesn't really cover anything, so we're just going to leave things as they are for now. We're going to enjoy this summer and not even think about it!!

Habitual Aborter....4th Loss

We have gone through our 4th loss. This one was pretty upsetting. I just knew that after seeing that pretty nice positive test and how much darker it was so early on, that things would stick this time.....but it didn't stick. Had 1st beta on Monday last week and those results showed that I was pregnant, but with really low hcg. The 2nd beta showed levels decreasing which means a loss in inevitable. I had the miscarriage while I was traveling with my dad to Alabama this past weekend. At least the trip helped take my mind off what was going on in my body, but it wasn't too fun being on the road while that happened. Today, my ob/gyn gave me a label which is kind of sad: "Habitual Aborter." That sounds like it's my fault or something. I don't like that name. It's not like I'm choosing to keep aborting or something. He referred me to a reproductive specialist and said they would want to do testing and all, but that it might just turn out to be nothing. I called the insurance today to see what was covered, and apparently it's not much....I hate insurance for that reason.....boo!! Need to talk to Kevin to find out if we want to pursue this or just leave it as it is. Dr. said he would recommend using protection and not trying until we get the testing done, but I just don't even know if we can afford testing and all that stuff. This is just a big let-down.

Not Looking Good.....

Well, this journey of TTC might not be over after all. Turns out the tests are not getting any darker, in fact, I'm pretty sure they are getting lighter. That means there's no way the Hcg (pregnancy hormone) is increasing like it should be. With Jack, the tests got steadily darker and darker and with each early loss, they never did and this appears to be like the other losses. I am just extrememly heart broken right now. I am going to the dr., but I really don't think there's anything that can be done. This will be my 4th time going through this and I feel like I'm becoming an expert at what to expect and how it works. I just thought for sure that this was it and this one was different. I am thinking that if this pregnancy doesn't stick, then it's definitely time for genetic testing and some more serious approaches. After all, now my insurance will cover it, as you have to have 3 losses in a row before they'll pay. GRRR......and this just sucks. Maybe the outcome will be different, but I really don't think so. I need a miracle right now.

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please pray that this little bean sticks!!!!!!! I cannot believe it! I cried when I saw the test turning positive this morning!!!!

New Focuses

I have been sooo very bad at blogging the past months. Things have just gotten busy and I have not been focusing at all on TTC. We haven't been trying for the past few months really. This cycle is month 20, but we've not been technically even been doing the magic deed to make a baby. I've been trying to lose some weight and I've lost about 15 lbs so far. I need to keep going with this. It's making me feel much better about myself. I've gone down a pant size! That's so great feeling! As for this month, not much of a chance I don't think. We were planning on actively trying this month, but around my O day, Kevin wasn't feeling well, things were hectic, then I actually ended up O'ing about 4 days later than usual....so not sure if our timing was good enough. I think we did it the day before I actually ended up O'ing, so there's a slight chance. We'll see, I guess, in about a week or more if we caught that eggie.

You Evil Lady!

AF.....you evil lady....why did you have to make a visit this month?? GRRR!!! CD 1, month 19 starts today. Maybe some lovin' this month will make a Thanksgiving "turkey" in my oven! Haha!