Habitual Aborter....4th Loss

We have gone through our 4th loss. This one was pretty upsetting. I just knew that after seeing that pretty nice positive test and how much darker it was so early on, that things would stick this time.....but it didn't stick. Had 1st beta on Monday last week and those results showed that I was pregnant, but with really low hcg. The 2nd beta showed levels decreasing which means a loss in inevitable. I had the miscarriage while I was traveling with my dad to Alabama this past weekend. At least the trip helped take my mind off what was going on in my body, but it wasn't too fun being on the road while that happened. Today, my ob/gyn gave me a label which is kind of sad: "Habitual Aborter." That sounds like it's my fault or something. I don't like that name. It's not like I'm choosing to keep aborting or something. He referred me to a reproductive specialist and said they would want to do testing and all, but that it might just turn out to be nothing. I called the insurance today to see what was covered, and apparently it's not much....I hate insurance for that reason.....boo!! Need to talk to Kevin to find out if we want to pursue this or just leave it as it is. Dr. said he would recommend using protection and not trying until we get the testing done, but I just don't even know if we can afford testing and all that stuff. This is just a big let-down.

Not Looking Good.....

Well, this journey of TTC might not be over after all. Turns out the tests are not getting any darker, in fact, I'm pretty sure they are getting lighter. That means there's no way the Hcg (pregnancy hormone) is increasing like it should be. With Jack, the tests got steadily darker and darker and with each early loss, they never did and this appears to be like the other losses. I am just extrememly heart broken right now. I am going to the dr., but I really don't think there's anything that can be done. This will be my 4th time going through this and I feel like I'm becoming an expert at what to expect and how it works. I just thought for sure that this was it and this one was different. I am thinking that if this pregnancy doesn't stick, then it's definitely time for genetic testing and some more serious approaches. After all, now my insurance will cover it, as you have to have 3 losses in a row before they'll pay. GRRR......and this just sucks. Maybe the outcome will be different, but I really don't think so. I need a miracle right now.

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please pray that this little bean sticks!!!!!!! I cannot believe it! I cried when I saw the test turning positive this morning!!!!

New Focuses

I have been sooo very bad at blogging the past months. Things have just gotten busy and I have not been focusing at all on TTC. We haven't been trying for the past few months really. This cycle is month 20, but we've not been technically even been doing the magic deed to make a baby. I've been trying to lose some weight and I've lost about 15 lbs so far. I need to keep going with this. It's making me feel much better about myself. I've gone down a pant size! That's so great feeling! As for this month, not much of a chance I don't think. We were planning on actively trying this month, but around my O day, Kevin wasn't feeling well, things were hectic, then I actually ended up O'ing about 4 days later than usual....so not sure if our timing was good enough. I think we did it the day before I actually ended up O'ing, so there's a slight chance. We'll see, I guess, in about a week or more if we caught that eggie.